The People Can't Be Trusted to Choose Their Own Drinks

...at least, that's what Washington's State Attorney General wants you to believe.

In a recent public statement made regarding the recent incident at Central Washington University, Attorney General Rob McKenna (who is in no way related to my college, thank God) has called for federal food regulators to hand down a national ban on Four Loko, the notorious energy drink/malt liquor hybrid that has become a staple on many college campuses.

The stats on the thing are staggering. As much alcohol as a six pack of beer, combined with the amount of caffeine found in five cups of coffee? Wow.

That being said, there are a plethora of reasons that banning the beverage is borderline idiotic. 

Is it that mixing caffeine and alcohol is a deadly equation? If so, it's strange to me that drinks such as Jagerbombs have become so popular that bars now advertise specials on them. They've become as accepted as any other newly-spun cocktail, and have gone happily without interference from unnecessary regulation.

Does Mr. McKenna honestly believe that banning this particular product will make progress towards diminishing the threat of binge drinking? As a college freshman on a relatively wet campus, I've seen quite a bit of binge drinking, and very little of it has ever involved these energy/alcohol mixes. When denied the opportunity to buy a drink like Four Loko, people will probably go back to doing shots, or more dangerously, mixing their own concoctions. (Which, by the way, is what got the students sick. They were not drinking Four Lokos exclusively, but were mixing it with a LOT of other types of alcohol too.)

McKenna also claims that Four Loko is designed to appeal to children because of it's fruity flavor. This idea that anything flavored is automatically something for children is a preposterous lie that has been propagated in arguments against other adult products in the past. I had never even heard of the drink until coming to college, where the taste of a beverage is the last thing on people's minds. 

At what point does paternalism stop? What qualifications does an Attorney General have to say that a drink should be banned outright? If we banned drink recipes every time a group of college students got alcohol poisoning, we'd all be drinking nothing but light beer. The fact is that what happened here was a result of highly irresponsible behavior, and truly a sad moment, but the idea that the mistakes of a few immature individuals should dictate the legality of a beverage is completely absurd.

(now playing: "The Good Shepherd" by The Niceguys)